Sunday, November 21, 2010

Stop, Look, Listen


With our holidays upon us, and our world in such turmoil,
many thoughts have flitted through my mind.

I really do believe we become wiser with age & experience,
though I hate admitting this, as it definitely reflects
I do, indeed, have some age & experience.

My daughter-in-law of 4 years (2 grandchildren) has
driven a wedge between my son and me, his sister &
his father.  I, until the last episode with her in August,
have eventually tried to act as if nothing happened in order
to keep my son happy.  My daughter & my ex are alienated to
the point where they don't see them any longer.  The DIL acts
as if  "we" are the ones at fault and does not extend the olive branch
to anyone.  It doesn't matter to her that her husband has been cut
off from his family & from their children.  My son is clueless. 
A lot of this could have been averted if 5 years ago he had taken a
stand with her while she was our guest on a holiday in Italy,
but he didn't.

So, this family mess:  it's like politics and war.

It's them or us; both sides are right in their own minds.

I have travelled and lived in the Middle East, and I know the culture
of the citizens very well. Rich or poor, all people of the world want
their families to be happy, have enough food on the table,
and to be safe. The ordinary people of the Middle East are
no more dangerous than we, ourselves, are. 
But, as we know, there are exceptions.

Safety might be the reigning single item all people hope for.
Security in their lives and their relationships and for their
countries. 

I think of all that I know.  And, I know, especially at this time
of the year, we must reach out & touch someone, even a total
stranger.  Join an organization in helping to feed hungry people,
buy a box of gifts for some child who won't receive anything.
Look at the people on the street and wonder how they got where they
are; what happened to them?  Take blankets you don't need to someone
who does.  Ask your local schools if there are students in need; sponsor
a child you don't know, give them hope and make them smile.

Life is very short, and we are not rewarded for how many football
games we watch or how many parties we attended.  True reward
comes only with giving & sharing.

My DIL hasn't learned this yet.  And maybe she won't learn
during my lifetime. But, eventually she will learn, because
we all do.

Share everything.
Love one another.

At a time when we see the absolute greed of our politicians,
who are black-mailable after taking payoffs & contributions to make 
decisions unfavorable to our countrymen,  
and the heads of corporations eliminate 1000's of jobs
so that they (the company) can show a profit  which allows
these executives to accept obscene amounts in bonus payments,
we, the people, are the only ones who can maintain the dignity
and honor of our beautiful America.

Let each of us begin at home,
and spread the love which is inside all of us.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week ahead.


xx's






14 comments:

  1. Marsha, what a sad story. I really feel so awful that this rift has occurred and I am sure it must be so difficult to face at this time of year especially. I hope that somehow this beautiful message of peace and forgiveness that you have expressed will somehow reach your son and his wife.

    Blessings to you this Thanksgiving.

    Best wishes,
    Natasha.

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  2. Sending you a wish for happiness with your Family/ You wrote a wonderful a heart warming post. yvonne

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  3. I'm so sorry -- and feeling so blessed to have both a wonderful daughter-in-law and also a wonderful son-in-law. Wishing you peace and joy for your family.

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  4. Oh Marsha Sweetie...
    How sad for your family. Holidays are family times, and we so want to be with our loved ones. I will be adding your son and DIL into my prayers for them to come to their senses and give this family back the love they so desire and need. A family divided at the holidays is not what God wants for us. He will help find a way sweetie. Faith... Have Faith... Strength for you son to stand up for what he KNOWS is right, and a heart for your DIL to open and find love.

    Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving sweetie. You are so beautiful and special. Your heart is so giving, and the love you have shared with me, has made my heart "Happy". Thank you Marsha, thank you. Many hugs and SO much love, Sherry

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  5. What a beautiful, poignant post, which I hope your son reads. It made my tear up. I'm so sorry your family is going through this right now.

    I'm no expert but I think a lot of times these types of family coflicts continue because of pride and stubborness. I agree that life is short and if one "side" extends the olive branch how can you not take it? At least to see one another civilly once in awhile.

    I've seen this happen to a lot of families over in law conflicts and its incredibly sad. I can't imagine what it feels like to raise a child and then have something like this happen. I hope with all my heart that your son finds a way back to you. xoxo

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  6. Marsha:

    You are a woman filled with compassion creativity and beauty, it saddens me to learn how your house is divided, I hope your son reads this and opens his heart and mind to the possibility of reconciling the past and moving forward to a future of forgiveness-- before it is too late. and as far as America is concerned we have become complacent thinking it could never "happen" here, our country is so big it divides us by size, it is a country worthy of saving from its own internal demise - we still have much to give,. I met a man from East Africa yesterday who said to me Americans still have much they can teach and help others -- even the ones in prison here can redeem themselves by going to Africa and living a life of purpose by helping others with their skills and knowledge. We often do not think along those terms or along all the things you suggest, but we still have so much we can do -- we have been blessed, but sharing it is the wise thing to do.

    Have a blessed week ahead, --
    joanny

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  7. Wow. I can't believe my eyes. It doesn't seem like you have much love in your heart for your son or daughter in law by posting this. Regardless of the circumstances or what your DIL has done against you, your responsibility is to act lovingly toward the mother of your grandchildren, not to slam her on the internet for all to see.

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  8. We hear your pain, Marsha. It is so sad.

    I pray that you have the strength and courage to weather this storm and that you DIL can somehow find the error of her ways.

    I hope you can focus on the positive this holiday season.

    Many hugs, Ann

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  9. Dear Marsha, I'm so sorry about your son, what a shame he can't see it.

    Lovely post, I agree with everything you've said. Everyone should be more generous.

    Sending love xx

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  10. I hope my post saved, let me know if it didn't xx

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  11. I road you post...and tears coming on my eyes...

    HOW much pain mother heart can to were???
    And HOW much you are right,my dear,dear Marsha when do you say about sharing all you LOVE what you can give around you!

    My warmest hugs to you,
    ***Violetta***

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  12. You have always presented such a positive take on the world and its beings. You’ve gone out of your way to aid & comfort the less fortunate by helping them help themselves, and I can see clearly, that you have not impulsively jumped to conclusions. This has obviously been an excruciating, drawn out awakening that is nothing less than catastrophic. I understand and ache for you. I have a lesson for anyone who may be overly judgmental about your painful post regarding your Son & DIL. It is not their wisdom that blinds them, it’s ignorance. I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. You deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You have always presented such a positive take on the world and its beings. You’ve gone out of your way to aid & comfort the less fortunate by helping them help themselves, and I can see clearly, that you have not impulsively jumped to conclusions. This has obviously been an excruciating, drawn out awakening that is nothing less than catastrophic. I understand and ache for you. I have a lesson for anyone who may be overly judgmental about your painful post regarding your Son & DIL. It is not their wisdom that blinds them, it’s ignorance. I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. You deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, each of them mean so much to me. After all, the interaction is the reason we blog. xx's