this is a bit of a saga, but one I believe you might find of interest.
I was invited to join one of my friends for dinner at the "club" last evening;
it was Fried Chicken Buffet night in the dining room adjacent to the pool area.
it's very informal for the "club."
she had booked a large round table, and when everyone was seated it turned out that I knew them all quite well, and the hostess's recently widowered brother-in-law & his daughter were sitting
just across from us.
all of the guests we are discussing have adult children (like me).
after all the pleasantries, and our 1st glass of wine,
the conversation with the elegant woman beside me turned to her husband's
Alzheimer's, he, in fact, acknowledges he has Alzheimer's and begs forgiveness
if he forgets anything. He is splendid.
one of their 4 daughters is coming to town to stay for a week so she can help her mother
find a suitable place for dad.
her mother does not like this idea at all and, remember, they have the means for all the help they would need in-home when the time comes. the man walks, talks, eats without assistance,
etc., his only sacrifice thus far has been to give up driving.
he told me he had Alzheimer's and I corrected him and said he has "Old-Timer's."
& thus began the very intense conversations round the table about adult kids
doing all kinds of bad things with regard to their parents.
my hostess's daughter hasn't spoken to her for 1 month or more
because mom won't give her any more money to live on.
the 56-year old "girl" has never been married, has never had a job.
the recent widowerer is having to sue his own son over his deceased wife's will.
the son, it seems, had momma-bear sign over many many things, including real property, to him prior to her death, unbeknownst to the daughters or the father.
we began discussing another woman, absent from the table, whose husband was a relative of
Howard Hughes (remember, he was a Houstonian), and who left her with enough money
to last forever, totally separate from his own children's inheritance.
one of her own son's began managing her money for her after he told her
she didn't know what she was doing and that she was spending too much.
she is elderly herself and "spending too much" is impossible for her wealth,
and she loves art and antiques. things which will be passed on to her 3 children.
unfortunately, he placed her on such a limited budget she had to get the
trust department of a bank to take everything over from him.
now, ladies, this is the landed gentry I am talking about.
we can laugh a bit when we realize how much money is involved, however, the heartbreak is exactly the same as it is for all of us.
now, I don't want you to think this is all we talked about,
because it wasn't., they are all very interested in current events, can talk about almost
any subject and love the University of Texas almost more than life.
they have been everywhere, done everything,
and love having a casual dinner on a Wednesday evening with all their contemporaries.
my late husband, Ned, knew all of these people quite well, they were lifelong friends.
he loved UT too.
because of him they now reach out to me,
to make certain I'm not lonely and can enjoy life with them a couple of times a week.
&, know what?
I adore all of them.
sending love and happy wishes for a wonderful Easter weekend to each of you.
& may God bless everyone.