Thursday, August 11, 2011

To Exist is to Change...

“To exist is to change, 
to change is to mature, 
to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” 
~Henri Bergson

yesterday I spent the entire day with my girlfriend who had the shoulder 
replacement surgery, she's still in a sling, but doing well.
having a bit of cabin fever, she wanted to go shopping...
& when I say "shopping" I mean it as it means shopaholic.
1st stop Anthropologie, where they have some amazing new things,
even suitable for me.  I was happy to see apparel cut in what seems like
larger silhouettes, all very fashionable.

my girlfriend continues to choose the same type clothing she's always worn,
and this brought up a need to change, something I believe is necessary.

in thinking about change, I was reminded of something I had seen recently...
a list of things & behaviors we all need to implement:

 Tolerating crap from other people. 
I no longer hang around with people who diminish me, drain my energy, or treat me poorly.
A relationship means both parties give equally.  If the other one needs something more
at a particular time,  give it freely.
 Setting goals that I should achieve.
 I set goals that I want to achieve.

 Putting other people’s needs before my own. 
I recognize that unless my cup is mostly full, I can’t be available to lovingly give to others.
 Putting work, money, projects, or television before those I love.
 Relationships are the most important thing in my life, and I act like it.
 Spending money to fill a void. 
I seek to find the cause of my emptiness. I don’t try to buy my way out of it.
 Beating a dead horse.
 If I see something isn’t working, I recognize it and move on.
 Owning other people’s problems.

I will support, listen, and love, but I no longer manage or invest myself in other people’s difficulties.
 Dwelling on the past.
 I consciously live in the moment and focus my awareness on what is happening right now.
 Reacting before thinking. 
I may not be able to control my feelings in every situation, but I can control my behavior.
 I promise only 50% of what I can deliver, leaving myself space for change.
 Allowing other people to waste my time.
 I take the necessary steps to educate or avoid them.
 Ignoring my intuition. 
I trust my instincts and listen to my own wisdom.
 Accepting limitations.
 I assume I can accomplish or achieve something until it is absolutely proven I cannot.
 Waiting for other people to decide. 
I have the self-confidence to initiate.
 Living beyond my means. 
I know that debt is an enormous energy drain and 
reclaiming that energy is far more important than material things.
 Taking other people for granted. 
 I regularly express my love and appreciation to those close to me.
I spend a reasonable amount of time contemplating a problem or decision. 
Then I get out of my head and take action.
 I continue to actively grow and learn.

Which one of these do you need to implement? 


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Dumbwit Tellher said...

Marsha this is absolutely wise, each and every phrase. I need improvement with my over-thinking. It's not always over-thinking things that I should but doing so on things that I cannot change. Worrying if someone likes me, accepts me, or if I've let them down? All which sometimes I have little control over. We all must change, evolve, and reinvent. I guess that's a positive thing about growing older?! A lovely, poignant post. Get well wishes to your dear friend too.

Much love,

Wildernesschic said...

Such wonderful wise advice here.. I think your friend is very lucky .xx

The enchanted home said...

Ugh... like most of them. I sat here nodding and then nodding true it is. you are speaking to the choir my friend! Dwelling on the past, reacting before thinking, owning others problems and tolerating crap from others are the big four for me! On a lighter note love that first picture, peach and turquoise are sooo beautiful together!! Stop by doing a great giveaway ends tonight (if you haven't already)

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh wow, I think I need to print this out. So wise Marsha.
xoxo DJ

Chris said...

Ha Ha D. A.! I DID print them out before coming to this place! Words of wisdom from a dear wise soul, Marsha.
Nodding in agreement, indeed. Reacting, ruminating...I am guilty!
You had me at "...tolerating crap..." lol!
Thank you for those words of truth, dear friend!
I'm praying that your weather will cool soon,
xoxo Chris

Half-heard in the Stillness said...

Morning dear Marsha, so sorry to have been away for quite awhile. But, Your post today really hit home. I'm definitely guilty of owning other people's problems, especially the kids problems. Woah...definitely over-thinking too, and putting other people's needs before my own which probably ties in with the first one no doubt! You'd think by the time of reaching 62 I'd have worked out a way to deal with it, ah well I keep trying and that's what it's all about!

Much hugs to you,

under spanish moss said...

Well you nailed me with tolerating crap from others and owning others problems. Funny thing is I have been thinking about this a lot lately and have started to make some changes. You have given some great advice to live by.

designchic said...

Love the quote. I'm no longer thinking of myself getting older, I'm just creating myself endlessly!! And oh yes, Marsha, I am guilty of so many of these...clearly need to work a little harder!! Have a wonderful weekend ~

Young at Heart said...

mmm.....quite a few things I could tick on this list.....will re-read and make note...inspiring!!

Pondside said...

I read this and found too many places items that had me nodding in recognition. Great post!

Gail said...

Amen, Amen,& Amen

Catherine Robinson said...

Great post, Marsha. Henri Bergson's quote is definitely one for my quote book! I really agree with the sentiment.
I need to implement not 'over-thinking'!!
Have a lovely weekend.

vicki archer said...

we must implement all these gems Marsha....xv

Natasha in Oz said...

Well done Marsha! I too refuse to be with people who make me feel bad and I have been teaching my kids to do the same. Toxicity breeds toxicity.

Great post!

Best wishes and happy weekend,

VMcreation-fashion-studio-atelier said...

Wooow and woow..........Absolutely wise and fantastic life insttings,dear Marsha!!!
Great post and also very usefull,
Thank you very much;-)))*
All of these advices super good because if do you stand behind of it,you are on the good way!!!

And NOW....DO IT:-)*

Love(I mean my warm feelings from my heart to you!),
XXX Violetta***