Oh Marcia, I am so sorry to hear of your plight with Family. I have struggled with a similar situation for over 20 years... It is really awful. My family doesn't live nearby, so I don't have to experience it up close and personal, very often, but it still does it's own kind of damage over time. I wish we could talk... All I can say here is trust your instincts in dealing with it, and keep your own good counsel. My heart goes out to any Mother or Mother-in-Law who is treated so poorly. I've been reading your blog for a LONG time, and I Love You, Girlfriend!! Chris Klein-Goss, St. Augustine FL
Dear MarshaI do understand, we mothers in law can have a hard time with daughters in law. This is my family situation , we have 6 children all married some divorced and remarried, I still have a relationship with the exes, so I cant be all that bad!!! anyway my youngest son married a woman who from the first look she took of me I knew that this was not going to be easy.. I tried everything like you as I thought just for the sake of everyone else It was my responsibility.. This woman has done everything possible to keep our son away from all of us, when I went to the emergency room due to complications from cancer treatment she came with my son and just sat , there not a word ,with daggers in her eyes that she had to come (they were not married then so she had to prove that she was supportive to him!!) for the wedding she told us we could only have 12 guests among 200... When I had to spend 3 weeks in intensive care she did not even send a card... She also made plans to have the christening of my grand daughter while I was recuperating so I could not attend.. Not once in 9 years have they have invited us for a meal.... and when we have made plans for them to come for a visit so we could see the grandchildren invariably they cant do it... always too busy... We have15 grandchildren all scattered through the world so it is not easy ,I do understand ,but these live 40 minutes from us... Her parents at the beginning told us that we had so many grandchildren, these were theirs!!! so the apple does not fall far from the tree... Etc... etc... It has taken me many hours of counseling to finally realize as my counselor said: Your son is also responsible for this" true, true... After lengthy conversations with a lot of tears, he,even accusing me of having a sour look on my face when they are around, I had to remind him that due to my health problem pain is my constant companion...he has apologized, I am sure he realizes that she has a problem that he has to live with and instead of standing up to her he takes the path of least resistance even if it means hurting the rest of the family...After all these years the rest of the family has seen the situation for what it is , basically to keep away from them and when necessary to be civil when she is around.... Easy? NO... terribly stressful. My counselor has told me she looked on me as a threat, you see I am a french woman who worked very hard and made a reasonable success of my life especially in view of how I started it during WW2 (yes I am an old lady of 75) and I know she cant stand that, she comes from a family who has never stressed hard work, and envious of those who want to better themselves... All my children are college graduates who also work hard, cant say the same about her family, and I shall leave it at that!!!! Sorry about this long life history!!!! but I thought it would give you a little support ,that you are not the only Mother out there in your situation..Do not torture yourself for something you are not responsible, you try your best, it does not work, the pain will be hard to bear, but remember in the end you tried, they did not...HugsAnnie v.
Chris, thanks for reaching out. I so appreciate it.
Annie, I think you understand this completely.Thanks for the support.I will be fine eventually.
I want to add my support to you too, Marsha. A situation like this is heartbreaking. But, like the others said, YOU have done all you can and yes, your son has partial resposibility in the situation too. I don't know what I would do if ever put in this situation, my heart would be broken for sure. Sendings BIG hugs!!!
Marsha! Buon giorno! I LOVE ITALY TOO! We had the pleasure of being in Cinque Terra and what an experience to have our hotel room overlooking the Ligurian sea! Yes, to simply breathe the fresh air, see the sights, taste the food, no other thoughts. Thank you my dear for coming to visit me AND Vicki. She is delightful, generous, so talented. And thank you for your comment on my header. I am having a tough time with Blogger that keeps changing the sizes of my photos! Oh well, it may be time to switch to another blog template!Enjoy the rest of your summer!
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