there are only a few moments in your life when you think you simply cannot survive.
today was one of those moments.
I thought I was OK.
when we awoke this morning I saw that my beloved little Poodle was failing.
failing in a way where nothing would work.
she ended her life in the most elegant way.
perfect for the most elegant puppy girl one could imagine.
she travelled with us around the world, she went to funerals & weddings,
she slept on a down pillow right next to me,
she was my best & closest friend,
&, Ned, my deceased husband, loved her more than I do.
I thought I would be OK, knowing I had had her (a rescue doggie) for almost 16 years.
I knew everything has it's time on Earth.
I had thought seriously about it.
But, I wasn't OK.
as we walked into the vet's office I thought I would faint.
walking down the hall I thought I would throw up.
but I held onto her, I loved her, I kissed her beautiful little nose
& I didn't let her know I was afraid, because I didn't want her to be afraid.
she passed elegantly and peacefully into the hands of our Lord at 4:30pm today.
a perfect girl, a perfect dog, a perfect friend who will be missed as long as I live.